Friday, April 21, 2006
Thursday, April 20, 2006
no fee!
Kenny, a 33 year old virgin, isn't the brightest guy on the block, but ignorance is bliss in some cases
wicked!
even with the advancements made in modern transmissions, Elphaba still preferred to drive 'stick'
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
and a firm handshake
Unemployed for 3 years now, Danny still hasn't figured out that his story about killing a man with his bare hands isn't a good way to start out a job interview.
Must. Resist. Opening. Door.
altho garlic and crucifixes are no defense against Whiskers, he cannot enter a house without being invited in
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
a one and a two
Gerold was sure his idea to put together a band would send his popularity through the roof. Hell, he just might be Homecoming King!
are you sure that's what you want to check out?
Denise thought zoology and zoophilia were the same thing.. until that shocking, yet enlightening, visit to the library
terminated
Kiera was becoming increasingly skeptical that Ronny was the future, as he claimed. His 'indisputable proof' - the government mandated tattoo - looked remarkably like an ordinary blackhead.
"That's exactly what the government wants you to believe," was his answer.
Still, she declined to see the other 'government code' on his butt.
"That's exactly what the government wants you to believe," was his answer.
Still, she declined to see the other 'government code' on his butt.
the dream is over
normally, Carleton's recurring dream of going to school without pants wasn't as lucid as this time. In fact, he didn't remember ever feeling cold in a dream before, and the police officer walking toward him was never in his previous dreams. And now that he thought about it, the beginning of this dream included a sequence that seemed a bit too much like waking up.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
hat trick
the employees at Bob's Bagel World have had a running bet for years to see if they can make the really geeky customers wear hardhats under the guise that the building is still under construction
double or nothing if they can get the dorks to pose for a 'visitors pass' photo
double or nothing if they can get the dorks to pose for a 'visitors pass' photo
dreamweaver
Luke thought he was on to something when he figured out how to hook up his dvd recorder in a way to record his dreams. But then he realized all his dreams are just reruns of Gilligans Island.
DNF
Ken will rue the day that he was talked into helping serve shots at the Drunken Obstacle Course Marathon. Here he is asking "how well does vomit clean out of shoes?" as he force-feeds a Jagerbomb to one of the last to 'finish'.
fighting crime and delivering goodies
altho nobody knows her secret identity, the Easter Bunny and her sidekick Sparky, are a welcome sight wherever they are seen
Sunday, April 09, 2006
that really gets my goat
the petting zoo enacted a strict 'No Goats Policy' after Bill's previous visit which resulted in the National Park Service being called in
QU!T 5T3AL!N6 O R LETT3R$
somewhere in that neighborhood is a guy who likes to dress up as Vanna White
Friday, April 07, 2006
Survivalist Salty
After certain current events convinced Mr. Salty that Armageddon was imminent, he moved to a compound in Wyoming where he was frequently seen stocking up on Spam and toilet paper, and garnered a reputation among the girls for inviting them to sample his peanuts.
the good life
Life sure changed for Terry and Terri after winning the Powerball jackpot. Instead of sitting around on their crappy old couch watching Speed Buggy reruns on a 19-inch tv, they sat around on a nearly new couch and watched Speed Buggy on a 25-inch tv with remote control and built-in surround sound.
how does this work again?
Alfred was proof that the saying "just like riding a bike" doesn't apply to everyone
payback
tired of all the photos taken of him without his permission, Mittens turned the camera on his owner and took not-so-flattering photos of him while he slept
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
no really, a handshake is fine
when her subtle comments went unheeded, Julie used a less tactful method to tell her date to "please take a breath mint!"
"say uncle"
the last photo of Steve taken before his death, depicts his odd joke of sneaking up on animals and trying to wrestle them into submission
wrong country
the Karaoke lounge at Skippy's Bar & Grill was uncharacteristically silent when the boys from Bottoms Up showed up to perform "I Feel Like A Woman"
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
so close!
Jeff had just been signed to a major movie deal when the studio discovered that the real Marilyn had actually died several decades earlier
spell it out for me
in an ironic twist, second prize in the spelling bee was a trip to Albuquerque.. the exact word that Dave misspelled in the final round
lacking depth
after his most recent cow-tipping adventure resulted in a serious head injury, Pervus found an affordable remedy to fix his lack of depth perception
wedding vows in Vegas
Plastic flowers in her hair
Don't they make a lovely pair
Met last night at the slot machines
Him in leather, her in jeans
All night preacher does the ceremony
His wife throws Minute Rice
Her tears are phony
But wedding vows in Vegas
Aren't meant to last for ages
You've got to be courageous
To play the odds that love will win
Whatever city you're in
A Polaroid's an extra twenty
Shoot the works man, we've got plenty
Witness is another ten
Thanks a heap and come again
Buffet dinner, nothing but the best
And check into some strip love nest
But wedding vows in Vegas
Aren't meant to last for ages
You've got to be courageous
To play the odds that love will win
Whatever city you're in
How can this be?
Ice cold Chablis, cable TV
Continental breakfast free
Baby, then it's you and me
It's you
Buffet dinner, nothing but the best
And check into some strip love nest
But wedding vows in Vegas
Aren't meant to last for ages
You've got to be courageous
To play the odds that love will win
Whatever city you're in
Was (Not Was)
Don't they make a lovely pair
Met last night at the slot machines
Him in leather, her in jeans
All night preacher does the ceremony
His wife throws Minute Rice
Her tears are phony
But wedding vows in Vegas
Aren't meant to last for ages
You've got to be courageous
To play the odds that love will win
Whatever city you're in
A Polaroid's an extra twenty
Shoot the works man, we've got plenty
Witness is another ten
Thanks a heap and come again
Buffet dinner, nothing but the best
And check into some strip love nest
But wedding vows in Vegas
Aren't meant to last for ages
You've got to be courageous
To play the odds that love will win
Whatever city you're in
How can this be?
Ice cold Chablis, cable TV
Continental breakfast free
Baby, then it's you and me
It's you
Buffet dinner, nothing but the best
And check into some strip love nest
But wedding vows in Vegas
Aren't meant to last for ages
You've got to be courageous
To play the odds that love will win
Whatever city you're in
Was (Not Was)
Monday, April 03, 2006
Sunday, April 02, 2006
homemade prosthetics
Tyler heard that the size of a man's nose is related to the size of something else.. apparently not IQ